Parents who split up need to ensure they do what’s necessary to raise the children to be productive individuals. One thing that they can do is work together so they can make decisions that are in the best interests of their children.
The co-parenting relationship should begin while the decisions regarding custody are being made. If you and your ex can be cordial during this phase, you’re able to set the stage for a productive, effective co-parenting relationship in the future. Here are three major mistakes, however, that can tank your efforts to build that working relationship:
#1: Bringing up ancient (or not-so-ancient) history
The things that happened at the end of your relationship should stay there. They don’t have any role in the child custody matters, so be sure that you focus all your efforts strictly on the children and what they need.
#2: Using the children as messengers between you
The children shouldn’t ever be used as messengers because they don’t need the responsibility that comes with this. There’s too big of a chance that incorrect information will be passed on. They also don’t need to have to deal with the reactions that might come with the information that’s relayed.
#3: Fighting in front of the children
Your children shouldn’t ever see you and your ex fight. If you have contentious matters to deal with, do it when you’re alone with your ex. This can be over the phone or in person. Never bring these matters to the transition days when the children are around — especially if the argument concerns the children.
Getting the parenting plan set up quickly after a divorce is imperative. This enables you to have the foundation for the kids so they can adjust to the new way of life. Working with someone who has knowledge of child custody matters is beneficial in these cases since you can learn what options you have for custody.